ONLINE CHURCH BULLETIN

TEN WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

3. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

4. In the memo field of all your checks, write, "For Smuggling Diamonds.

5. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

6. Order a "Diet Water" whenever you go out to eat—with a serious face.

7 Specify that your drive-through order is to go.

8. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, "I Won! I Won!"

9. When leaving the zoo, start running toward the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives—they're loose!"

10. Tell your children over dinner: "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." —Austin Tucker

"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine...." —Proverbs 17:22
Glad Tidings of Good Things, Vol. 14, April 11, 2008, page 3