ONLINE CHURCH BULLETIN

Please Excuse Me

Dear Preacher,

You often stress attendance at worship as being very important, but I think a fellow has a right to miss now and then. I think I should be excused for the following reasons:

July 4 (National holiday) 1
Labor Day (Even God had one day to rest) 1
Memorial Day (1 state holiday) 1
Last day of school (kids need a break at the beach) 1
Day before first day of school (last chance of summer) 1
Family reunions (1 – my family, 1– wife's family) 2
Out-of-town games (we support the team) 5
Tournaments (high school, college, etc.) 4
Anniversary (Gotta keep the flame lit) 1
Sickness (1 for each family member) 5
Business trips (a fella's gotta make a livin') 3
Vacation (only 2 weeks, but 3 weekends) 3
Bad weather (ice, rain, snow, hail, etc.) 5
Tennessee Titans games (or some other team) 4
Unexpected company (can't just walk out on them) 2
Alarm clock didn't go off (not my fault) 2
Time change (spring forward, fall back?) 2
House and car repair (Who can afford plumbers & mechanics?)3
Special on TV (continuing education) 2
Christmas (comes only once a year) 1
New Year's (I need to start off rested up) 1

So, preacher, that only leaves two Sundays this year. We will see you Easter for sure and the third Sunday in August unless we are providentially hindered.

Sincerely,
Faithful Member